Letting Go

I take on projects with passion and gusto. This is not as haphazard as it may outwardly seem. I enjoy, as they say, "casting my net in many directions." I meet interesting people and have interesting experiences when I do things this way.

For the past three months, I've kept up with doing this particular project, Across Mediums, even as I discovered that doing it wasn't serving me in the ways that I had hoped it would serve me when I began. I was hoping to have a continuous stream of work and from doing that work, inspiration.

What I found was that life did not always move in the linear way that I had hoped. Sometimes my time was limited, and during those weeks, it was hard to get anything done. When time is limited and then I don't have the opportunity to work on the art that is nearer and dearer to me, it became time to ask myself: Do I want to continue this project for the sake of continuing it, or do I want more authentic creation?

I think that I will keep up with my Across Mediums journal, on my own. And I can see myself at some point making a choice to update here, add more pictures to the flickr account, etc. But creating in this way--having the narrow constrictions of both a deadline and a week to do three projects across three different mediums did not work out as dreamily as I had hoped. Instead of experimenting, and discovering, I have found it to be a process of treading water, trying to stay afloat.

I don't want to live for those reasons.

So I'm letting the updates to this project go, in favor of focusing more on a pace of creating that works better for me. I love that I brainstormed 52 different themes. On days when I'm feeling low in inspiration, it will be a wonderful thing to turn to my AM notebook and pick a theme and just say, "Go."

It will be nice to give myself permission to let something go, without cracking the whip.

Blessings,
Kate

Week 12: Technology. Photo.

What interests me most when thinking about making visual connections to technology is looking at how cords, chips, etc., can be twisted into various shapes. These are all cords that are taking up residence in a drawer. Is it good that there are so many of them? How long will they last? What will happen to them, where will they end up, when the gadget that they go to is obsolete?

Week 12: Preplanning.

Preplanning for week 12's theme, technology, can be found here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kateswoboda/2341135790/in/photostream/

Week 12: Themes

Technology. Has technology been helpful, or not? What shapes can we see in technology? What is its role? Where is it taking us?

Week 11: Reflections. Photo.

It's hard to tell, but this is a small mirror reflecting into a bigger mirror with the camera trained on both mirrors at once (I had to get very "cirque de soliel" to contort myself and take the picture!).

Week 11: Reflections. Visual.

See:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kateswoboda/2341135468/

The illustration was done in my notebook and then color was added in Photoshop to make it pop just a little bit more. Can't say I'm thrilled with it but I didn't want to leave it plain, in pencil.

Week 11: Reflections. Writing.

Reflection. To think back. To consider past events. When I reflect back on my life, and on my choices, will it really reflect who I wanted to be? Or will it be a string of intentions? I intended to be good, to be generous, to be kind. I intended to be patient, to be gracious, to make the most of this life. Does intention really count for anything? To reflect. To wonder about the weight of mistakes. To wonder about the degree to which I'll carry them, how long, and for how much suffering.

Our lives are reflected to us in our choices. What would my life reflect back to me, right now?

Late update: "Death" theme

The photograph I ended up deciding to use for the "death" theme is here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kateswoboda/2340302121/

Week 11: Preplanning

Preplanning can be found here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kateswoboda/2327153590/

Week 11: Themes.

Mirrors, reflections, and double vision.

Week 10: Death. Visual.

Don't know what the deal is with blogger, but unfortunately no pictures seem to be uploading today. So, on over here...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kateswoboda/2326339139/

Week 10: Death. Writing.

What is death, but life,
and what is life,
but death?
In every moment
we are born
and reborn again
our shadows undulating
across the many souls' paths
that we cross.
We prepare
again and again
for birth
without acknowledging that first
there must be a death of an old self
a self that it would seem did not serve us
but in fact,
a self that paved the way
for this very birth.
The union of these two
fated to forever be the twin tides
of our Universe
cannot be pulled apart.
There is no gulf between.
The tide cannot be separated from the ocean,
nor from the surf.

Week 10: Preplanning

You can find it here (along with a lot of resistance!):

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kateswoboda/2327153794/

Resistance

Speaking of "death," it's been a tough week for me in considering whether or not to continue with this project. On one hand, it has informed a lot of my artwork this year and stretched me, forced me to practice, etc. On the other hand, it's a pain to feel bound to something (ugh, control issues!) and have a deadline. Did I make a mistake by asking myself to come up with new work every single week? Or is this keeping it fresh, keeping me from trying to make something perfect before I try the next thing?

This week I have no photo. I just simply did not make the time. I almost typed "didn't have the time," but I find that this is a false statement that 99% of the world makes, and it bugs me.

I plan to catch up by posting a photograph, later. But for now, a visual and some writing will (hopefully) do.

xo,
K

Week Ten: Themes

Death. Metaphors for death, literal interpretations of death. Anything to do with death or endings.

Week Nine: Energy. Photo.

Week Nine: Energy. Visual.

Because of the size of this particular piece, I am uploading it to flickr and providing a link (rather than waiting for my grandchildren to be born while Blogger uploads it).

I hate wasting leftover paint and these colors were available to me from another painting I was working on, so I began to integrate all of it. Before I knew it, this was what I had:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kateswoboda/2311133770/

Week Nine: Energy. Writing.

What has been on my mind in terms of energy this week has been an upcoming trip to Europe.

"It will be a wonderful vacation!" people tell me.

I am sure that on some level it will.

On another level, it will be weeks of navigating foreign lands, trying to figure out how to communicate basic needs in a language I can barely speak (I am memorizing, in particular, "Mi dispiace! Parli prego lentemente! Aprendo Italiano.")

It sounds very romantic, like a montage of Amelie and Under the Tuscan Sun and any other wonderfully romantic movie about another country that you've ever seen...complete with a set of those quirky Europeans.

And yet, I also know that the exhaustion will have me to my knees, that there will come a time when I practically beg and pray for something "normal," when just being among people who don't speak the same language as myself will exhaust me.

These are my thoughts on energy--a post of writing this week that is not particularly beautiful or flowing, but related to the topic all the same.